Reactions
by MasterSatanOverlord
Summary: So a kind of AU where Eren, Levi, and Armin do response videos to any and all things Attack on Titan. Full summary inside. This is most likely going to be complete shit, but I think the idea is good.
1. Oh Heichou

**First off, I should explain the AU. Right so, they are still within the walls, Eren and Armin one day stumble across a laptop. They bring it to Levi and they figure out, more or less, how it works. They stumbled across an online AoT fandom group and they somehow manage to convince them they really are Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert, and Levi Ackerman. They end up getting requests from their internet buddies of different things to respond to. So every week, the group decides on one thing, sends it in as a request and they respond, creating a video and sending it to the group. Fairly simple actually.**

**Alright, this is my first AoT story and I haven't read the manga yet, so cut me some slack. This will, more than likely be OOC. On top of that, the song used is, in fact, a Let It Go parody and I do not own it or the characters used in this non-profit work of FICTION! I know, yet another song based story/chapter from me. This was written during one class period and only skimmed for mistakes. I apologize for any shitty grammar or anything. Music is really the only place I'm getting inspiration right now so… Yah. Now, here you go! Shitty fanfiction!**

As the melody begins to flow through the speakers, I glance over at Levi, slightly horrified for what the people decided we should react to now. At the first lyrics, I am already done.

"You kicked me in a room full of fifty people, leaving footprints in my cheeks. A kingdom that wants to kill me, save my life with your two feet. The titan's coming but I can't help noticing, how you spin so fast and your nice ass."

Absolutely not! I never took any time to check him out! I flush in my anger, but that bastard only smirked before glancing over at me. "So that's why you kept staring at me shitty brat?" I grit my teeth and set out to ignore the captain.

"Your furrowed brows and chiseled chest make me blush and take away my breath. So please agree to marry me, set our love free!"

Hell no! I resent this, if anything this was torture. A chance for Levi to laugh at me. Yes, I might have admired how muscular he is, but only because it seemed like so much for someone so compact and small. "Eren, if you wanted me all you had to do was ask. You didn't have to come up with such a complex scheme." He finds this amusing! Next time I'll make sure it's something to embarrass him! A song about how short he is or something.

"Oh Heichou, oh Heichou! Don't care you're less than five foot five."

I let out a smirk and short laugh at that line, seeing Levi become serious again and train his perfected glare at the computer screen. Good, now we're getting to piss off the captain!

"Oh Heichou, oh Heichou! Slam my face into the floor! I don't care that you're twice my age, I think you're really hot. The fact you're old never bothered me anyways."

It was his turn to laugh again. "Well brat, I didn't know you were a masochist." I huff and glare at him. "Even if I was, I think it's funny how you tactfully avoided the fact you're old." He scowls at me, then we return our attention to the stupid video.

"I don't mind the height difference, and how your legs are really short, 'cause I know they're inverse proportion to your big titanic-"

His cocky smirk comes back on his face at the end of the line, probably expecting something other than the word 'sword', at which his face slips back into the glare, most likely due to the fact that it had referenced his height again.

"Humanity's strongest is quite rude, and likes to make jokes about poop. But in his heart I can see beauty!"

I scoff. "Beauty, that's exactly what I see past all the cold, heartlessness." He rolls his eyes, trying to ignore me.

"Oh Heichou, oh Heichou! Swinging through the trees. Oh Heichou, oh Heichou! Hair blowing through the breeze."

"Well, that part wasn't all that bad, the first non-offensive line. Took long enough didn't it?" The one thing I actually agreed with him about when speaking of this video.

"And here I'll stand, always by your side! I hope neither of us die!"

We don't comment on this, agreeing it's not that bad, especially compared to some of the other stuff that had been said in this offensive as fuck song.

"I'll kill the titans so that one day you'll be free to see the land outside, a caged bird you will never be!"

"Hey! I don't do all this for Corporal Levi! I might be stupid, but I do what I do for the good of humanity! The titans are a menace and I WILL kill them all!" I am now officially pissed and practically shouting. I will NOT have my ideals and reasoning undermined!

"We'll see the ocean, then these words I'll finally say, "I love your heart and soul." But only on that day!"

"Oi, so that's why you're so pissed about your feelings being exposed shitty brat? You wanted it to happen when we're free?" I choose to ignore his comment, gritting my teeth again that some girl, never seeing battle or even met us before, writing such a presumptuous song!

"Oh Heichou, oh Heichou! I won't let you die within these walls! Oh Heichou, oh Heichou! I swear I'll give it my all! Let me confess, I like your cleanliness."

"Actually, your mysophobia is really annoying…" I mutter and he glares at me. "At least you don't live in filth because of it."

"Come on Levi! Let's make this anime a hentai."

Hentai? What's that..? I glance over at the corporal, but he seems just as confused. "Hentai..?"

We agree to look it up. Pulling the device into my lap, I type the word into the search browser, switching it from 'Web' to 'Images'. Damn, I regret that choice. My eyes widen in horror and I push the damned thing as far away from me as quick as I can. Leaning over, away from the desk we were sitting at in Levi's office, I begin to dry heave, thinking of doing those things with the captain made me sick. The man seemed to have a similar reaction when he finally got the chance to see why I was so disgusted. I look up into his eyes as he pulled himself together. Shortly after, his foot landed on my back, hitting hard and pushing the air out of my lungs and me onto the hard, cold floor.

"Never speak of this again." His voice deadly serious as he glared down at me, shifting his foot to the back of my head. I nod quickly as best as I can, all too excited to forget this ever happened.

**I realize this was really short, but yah. So terribly OOC. This was the first time I wrote an intentional oneshot that didn't end in some sort of smut or a happy couple. This is definitely one of my OTPs for the Shingeki no Kyojin world, and I just made them disgusted with the thought of being together. Wow, firsts. Thanks for reading, let me know how I did! Additionally, if you have any inspiring ideas or requests, let me know. I'll try to do them.**

**Right, the song is Oh Heichou-Whoopi Goldberg.**


	2. Jaegeractive

**So I was expecting this to be a one-shot when I typed up **_**Oh Heichou**_**, but then I heard this beautiful piece and thought, 'What if Eren and Armin heard this?' And so this resulted. The song is Jaegeractive-GOOGLE PLUS MORE LIKE GOOGLE BUTTS. I hope you enjoy the train wreck that is this chapter and probably the whole freaking story.**

Still kind of terrified of doing response videos from last week, I slide in behind Levi's desk, next to Armin. The captain had too much going on this week so that left me and Armin to respond. Sighing, I watch in dread as Armin clicked the link and it led us back to YouTube. Clicking play, the music starts and I'm basically paralyzed in fear.

_Here's_ _a heads up, this show is nuts. Here have some blood and vore and guts. And you'll probably hate the main character._

"Hey!" Hating this immediately as well. Why did everyone bash on me? Armin giggles quietly and I glare at him weakly.

_I'm ten years old, and hate the world, but screw you all caps lock is gold._

"I didn't hate the world… I was just angry is all." I huff out. "And do I really sound like that?" Honestly curious, Armin is no use, he only laughed harder.

_You may think I'm just a brat. Seriously guys? I'm freakin' ten. I get better!_

"That's right! And I did!" I am proud of my maturity. Wait. Does that mean she hates on me less through the song?

_I do believe Mikasa's god. He-Man wants his hair back, Armin, he called._

"I do not!" Armin looks offended while I become indignant. "Who's He-Man?" His voice is quiet and I didn't care much for the song so I pause it and open a new tab, image searching this guy.

"Hey! My hair doesn't look like that!" He cries, now he's indignant as well, his anger making him more adorable than before. I pat his head and exit out of the search, going back to the song.

_Is that my mom? Wait, something's wrong._

I freeze, expecting the worst and Armin holds his breath, glancing over at me worriedly, knowing I'm still touchy on that subject.

_I'm fucking done! I'm rage-quitting this shit! Let me throw my hissy fit!_

"You know what? You would have reacted the same way in my situation! I bet you're just some prissy bitch who hasn't even experienced real loss!" I shout as I stand quickly enough to knock the chair down. Armin grabs my arm. "Hey. Calm down Eren." Grumbling, I allow him to fix the chair and settle me back into it.

_Gotta kill the titans, though I'm just ten. Saw my mom get eaten, then punched Armin._

I tighten my jaw, but ignore the second mention of my mother. "I didn't punch him… I pushed him off me." I mumble before refocusing on the lyrics which happened to be nothing more than nonsensical mutterings at the moment.

_I'm coming to get you, and play peek-a-boo. I fell from the sky too, hi nice to meet you._

I growl a bit, not approving of the lighthearted joking about the titans. Armin freaking snickered. "If you think about it though, that's pretty much what he did." I curl my lip in disgust at him for agreeing.

_It's Xehanort, from Kingdom Hearts._

We look at each other confused again. Pausing the music once again, we search up the Xehanort and I have to press my hand against my mouth to stifle some laughter. This guy looked exactly like Shadis, Armin was giggling as well as we went back to the video, past differences aside.

_We're starting fights and blaming farts. Still hate the world, especially Jean (Jean)._

I snicker, remembering this moment and at the fact that she didn't seem to like Jean much either. I did like this little shit after all.

_Fell on my face, I'm back again, it's been three years so now we're men. This is it, gotta jinx this shit._

"It was actually five years!" Armin interjects this time and I nod along with his correction.

_Oh loving crap, the titan's behind me!_

"Oh loving crap? What kind of curse is that?" I was baffled by the lack of creativity and Armin rolls his eyes.

_Quick I've got to make him bleed! Everybody's whining, Armin's crying._

"And I did make him bleed!" I throw out, prideful, right as Armin almost shouted. "I might have been crying, but Eren died! The entire squad did!"

_Soon they'll all be dying, you think I'm lying?_

We both become silent and look down, this bitch seriously liked to point out all the deaths didn't she?

_I'll pop up behind you, and ruin the mood. I fell from the sky too, I'm freaking cool dude._

"No! If you're going to be taking the titan's side in this war, we'll see how long you last in their territory!" Armin sighs again at my antics.

'_Please, just don't die.' That's all I said. The dumbass then goes, and winds up dead._

I am going to assume that was supposed to be Mikasa. Well, I technically didn't die, just lost a couple limbs, that titan douchebag swallowed me whole. I decided not to correct the damn thing because, clearly, everyone knew that. But she had better clarify that before this fucking song is over.

_I'm freaking out! Eren just got eaten! What the hell? I don't even! Nobody is safe, no. No one's safe, no! Protagonist or not though, only this damn show!_

I happened to notice the little Armin face bobbing along to the words, signaling it was him speaking. He stopped, reaching a shaking hand forward, he stops the video. His face hidden by the hair flopping in his eyes. "D-do I really… sound like that?" He looked up and I saw the tears shining in his blue eyes. Reaching towards him, I catch a drop of the salty liquid on my thumb as I wipe his face gently. "No, you don't. It's okay." He nods, sniffs, then plays the song again.

_I am a titan! I am a titan! I'm so damn attractive. Way too attractive._

I raise a brow at that sentiment. Attractive? Wait. As a titan?! "Am I?" Armin looks over at me and I can see a slight flush over his cheeks as 'my' voice continues and 'Armin' overlaps and follows.

_I am a titan, I am a titan!_

Armin (in hysterics):_ How'd this freaking happen? Eren's a titan!_

I kind of laugh at that, able to actually focus on the voice of 'Armin' this time. It really did sound kind of ridiculous.

_Oh my-! I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't I can't, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot deal with this right now!_

I laugh as Armin growls, _growls_, at me. 'My' voice sounding over 'his' at the end.

_Aaagh! Armin, what the actual fuu-?_

As the song finally ends, I look over at my best friend. "You didn't answer. Am I attractive?"

"Well… I mean… Look in a mirror or something." He fidgets, pressing the tips of his index fingers together repeatedly.

"That's not what I mean Armin! Seriously!" I grab one of his hands and look into his eyes. He sighs then pulls his hand away from mine, turning back to the screen, he closes the video and pulls up a new tab and types in 'SnK Eren as a titan'.

"Here's how they depicted you…" Though we had known of the anime Shingeki no Kyojin, I hadn't watched. I already knew what happened anyways, why would I need to? I was busy watching Armin, making sure he was done crying during the video. Looking at the screen, I see multiple images of the same titan, more skin than muscle showing on the face, the shining green and black eyes, long hair falling in its face. It certainly was a lot more attractive than some of the others.

"Is that actually what I look like?" I glance over and he nods. "Huh." I sit back and resolve to not watch any more videos for these damned react videos.

**So yeah… Here this piece of shit is. If it seemed a bit like ErenXArmin for a moment, ignore it. This is going to remain completely platonic! So this is it for now, let me know if you find any other parodies, memes, or anything else you'd like to have them respond to (and who is going to respond). The only ones who will appear in these response videos will be Eren, Armin, Levi, and one other. I haven't decided on that yet, but I am going to be creating a poll I think. Please rate and review!**


	3. The Face of Levi

**Alright, so this chapter is likely going to be shorter than the other two as it is a reaction to an image rather than a video. I have made said image the cover for this story, so you can look at it for reference ****(I DO NOT OWN THIS IMAGE! It was a random thing I happened to come across and I kinda questioned its existence but then I realized, perfect chapter material!)****. This was going to be a poor attempt at Levi POV, but I decided not to insult his character more than I already have, so I stuck with Eren. Here you go!**

I was just walking past Levi's office when I heard a familiar shriek from inside. Slamming open the door and pulling out a knife from a sheath on my upper thigh, I survey the room. Finding only Armin in the room, I place the blade back in the case and walk over to him, kneeling beside him and placing a hand on his shoulder. On closer inspection of his face, he looked obviously disturbed, terrified honestly. Shaking the kid gently, I become quickly concerned.

"Armin? Armin! What's going on?" He doesn't say anything, he just raises a hand and points at the opened computer that I hadn't noticed before. Scrunching my eyebrows together, I move closer to the lit up screen, moving the mouse to let the technology know it is still in use and brighten the screen to see easier. Seeing it open to an email that had a short note and a link, I assume that was it. Clicking on the purple lettering, I was not prepared for the image appearing on the screen.

It was a bulky looking body made up solely of Levi's face, the head having red lines coming from the eyes in, what I assumed to be, laser eyes. I quickly exit out of the image and shudder.

"Well… That was different." Armin simply nods, still trembling. I grin mischievously. "Hey Armin, you think we should show Levi?" His eyes somehow widen further, but he nods slowly, hesitantly. "I'll be back in a bit." He nods again and I walk out, going off to find Levi. Finding him just walking out of Erwin's office, the older officer with him, I skid to a stop and salute. "Commander Erwin." I greet him, wait for him to nod in acknowledgement before turning to the captain. "Corporal Levi, sir. There's a person waiting to meet with you in your office, sir." Not technically a lie, but still far from the truth. He sighs, turning his attention to me.

"Who is it brat?" There is a spark of question in his eyes, but the rest of his expression was bored, almost apathetic.

"Sir, I'm not sure." I try to explain with my eyes, but I doubt any of it reached his comprehension. He nods before turning back to Commander Erwin.

"We'll have to finish this later Erwin." They speak for a bit longer before the captain carts me off towards his office. "Alright brat, what's going on?"

"I think Armin's had a panic attack sir." He looks over at me, concern plain in his eyes and his speed picking up, the actual emotion making me falter in my steps, falling behind even more.

"What happened?" He barks, I shake myself off and catch up again.

"It was the reaction videos I think." He nods and we reach his office shortly after. Going in, he goes straight for Armin, pulling him up and coaching his breathing which was now pretty much back to normal. I tried to ignore them, which was actually harder than I thought, Levi was showing emotion other than disgust. It was terrifying. He was speaking gently to my best friend, reassuring him, and once calmed a bit more, he began stroking his arm tenderly. As soon as Armin was speaking again, he was asked what was wrong.

"The… The image just startled me…" His cheeks were red and he was looking down at his lap, playing with his fingers nervously. I'd be nervous too being on the receiving end of Captain's humanity. Nodding, Levi backs off the taller, but still really short, boy. Standing, he walks over to the computer and clicks onto the link, seeing the image, he gets a look of murder in his eyes and I back away, terrified not only for myself, but also the laptop and whoever had sent that particular request. He simply 'tsk's before exiting out of the image and deleting the email. He turns back to Armin and helps him up peering into his eyes worriedly. "Are you alright?" The blond nods and looks away, face red again, I was definitely going to have to ask him what that was about. Levi tugs Armin towards the door, "Go on and continue your training Jaeger." My friend looks over his shoulder with an apologetic expression before he's yanked away. Before leaving the office, I upload the video and shut down the computer.

**In case you were wondering, yes. That was implied ArminXLevi. It's not going to be mentioned explicitly, but that is going on. This story might have two spin offs, one based on the ArminXLevi and the other based on ErenX? Neither will be main themes, though this story will be mentioned in both. As for who the fourth reactor is going to be… A poll is now open!**


	4. Do You Want To Kill Some Titans?

**So here is the next chapter, I hope not many of you were done after that last one. For those of you who stuck around, THANK YOU! Here, have a cookie!~ *handing a whole box of Oreos, or other if you don't like Oreos, to all still reading this* So after this chapter, I'm going to shut down the poll, so make sure to vote or review letting me know who you want to see added into these reactions. It'll be shut down around three-ish on Friday. Now, onto the story! I don't own the music or characters used within this story, just so y'all know. If I did, Ereri and Ermin would be canon, Marco wouldn't have died, etc. ENJOY! Please!**

**Song used: Do You Want To Kill Some Titans? By the wonderful Sir Hamnet.**

I walk into Levi's to be confronted by a look of death, the older, but shorter, man glaring at me from his seat at his desk. I falter to a stop, he might be perpetually angry, but this was a whole new level of pissed, even for this particular man. "Sir? Is something wrong?" I stayed in place, but tilted my head to the side, curious. Levi rolls his shoulders, sighs, then shakes his head.

"Just get in here Jaeger." I nod, shutting the door before stepping farther into the room, it looked like Armin was already here, punctual as always. Sitting beside the small blond, ready to react, today was a rare day where all three of us were available to respond to our cross-dimensional pen-pals, Armin clicks on the new email.

"Looks like another video you guys…" He mumbles, sounding nervous as he clicks onto the link enclosed, fixing the video settings, he leans over, against Levi who wraps an arm around my friend's slim shoulders. Music starts up and my only hope is that it's not another of those nasty 'Ereri' songs. Those never fail to disgust me.

_Mikasa!_

_Do you want to kill some titans? Come on, let's go and fight. You always act like such a bore, come out the door. Let's make sure they all die! I told you 'bout the Survey Corps, 'cause I trusted you. Why did you go tell Mom?_

"This sounds way too cheerful for a song about destroying the titans…" I mutter, my words more than likely not being heard.

_Do you want to kill some titans? (Even if it's just one titan.)_

_Stop it Eren._

_Then I'll go on…_

"Was that supposed to be Mikasa? But, she sounded so _nice_…" I hear Armin's voice, soft and slightly muffled, and can practically _feel_ Levi's eyes rolling. After a moment of music that sounded like a time lapse, the lyrics start up again and it seemed like there had, in fact, been some years between the verses.

_Hey, Corporal!_

_Do you want to kill some titans? Or 3DMG 'round the walls? I think some practice time is over-due, I've started talking to the horses in the stalls! (Hang in there Clyde.)_

"Shouldn't it be Jean..?" I can hear a snort from one of them, but no further response.

_It gets a little boring, cleaning all these rooms, just watching the hours tick on._

"Time spent cleaning is time well spent." Levi states, sounding slightly prickly and I let out an almost laugh at that, the noise coming through my nose, but not quite a snort, it was breathier than that.

_Annie..?_

All of us seem to tense up all at once as soon as we hear the blond female's name.

_I don't know what to think now. People are wondering who you are. They say it can't be and I'm trying to, to understand how you made it this far. We're nothing like each other, now it's you and me. What am I going to do?_

All three of us seemed to be holding our breath, waiting for the end now. "He makes it seem as though everyone in the kingdom knew about Annie…" I say, mostly to fill our lack of comments on this video. Usually someone was blowing up the technology over every small thing, but for this, it was relatively quiet.

_Hey, Armin? Do you want to kill this titan?_

The noise fades off into soft, melancholy music, us remaining in our moment of silence. After a few minutes of this, Armin busies himself closing down the tabs, discreetly wiping at a tear on his face. "I kinda liked his voice. It actually sounded like me." I say to fill in the hush that had settled over us. Armin let out a short laugh.

"Maybe if you actually sounded vaguely human while singing." Armin jokes, but I can still feel his gloom. Rolling my eyes, I scoff at the small blond boy.

"Whatever." I push him lightly, though enough to send him flying into Levi's lap. "You're upset, have fun with your boyfriend and maybe you'll feel better!" I dash out of the room before Armin was righted from his sprawled landing by Levi so the older man couldn't kick me or something. Though I didn't like that end, the song itself wasn't terrible. I really did like that kid's voice, and it wasn't about me and Levi doing something weird. I crinkled up my nose at that thought and shook my head, leaving the general area of Levi's office.

**All right, so there you go! This chapter's really short, sorry! I think the next one will be longer… Hopefully… Also, for all Riren shippers, I have a new one-shot out (*cough cough* self promotion *cough cough* Whaaaaat?), so you should check that out, though it is rated M, 'cause the whole damned chapter is smut… Right, so thank you greatly for reading this, I will be forever in your debt. *bows down deeply enough to hit head on the floor***


	5. Die Young

**Here's the next chapter, I'm sorry! I know I promised this earlier, but YouTube happened and I got distracted! I typed this up and have been ready with it for a few days, but held back on posting it because I wanted to see your guys' opinion on who the fourth person should be, but I had to type this up so I had it done. By the way, surprise for you guys in here! Not telling you what. :P**

**Song: Die Young by GOOGLE PLUS MORE LIKE GOOGLE BUTTS.**

Opening up this week's email, it had a short note attached to the link other than the standard, "Thank you for continuing your responses, and we hope you enjoy this week's!" The note actually asked something of us and I looked to Levi for an answer. He sighs before letting his head fall. "Go get Kirschtein." I nod then run off to the mess hall/eating area to look for Jean. He was sitting in the back of the room, by himself but around the group of people he usually hung around. Jogging over, I pause in front of him.

"Jean. Captain Levi needs to see you in his office." He grimaces at my sudden appearance ruining his dinner, but gets up to follow me back to the reaction room. Upon arrival, I don't bother knocking, I just go right in. Jean begins to attempt to stop me, but Levi grabs him by the collar and yanks him into the room I dance past the captain into the seat next Armin who smiles faintly at me, leaning in, he whispers, "Do you really think it's a good idea to have you two in the same room?" His tone is light and joking, but I could hear the worry hidden behind it. I simply nod as Levi pulls the laptop from where it had been hidden in his desk, me and Armin simply chat until Levi is done explaining everything to the man.

"S-so… Why am I here..?" Jean seems nervous, like he's going to be kicked or something and I snicker a bit, biting lightly into my thumb to keep me from guffawing. Levi's sharp glare turns to me, his voice a warning. "Jaeger." I hadn't thought of what that would mean to everyone else in the room, extracting my hand from my teeth, I wave away the captain's concern and he, thankfully, goes back to explaining that our contacts wanted to have his added reaction to whatever video we were about to witness. We eventually got him settled down in a seat next to Levi, Armin snuggling into the older man's shoulder and me beside the blond boy. Once settled, we set up the video and play it, expecting the worst, us video veterans expecting the worst, Jean just seemed nervous.

_Screw this! The main character just died! I've gotta get out of here before I run into another-. WALL!_

I see more than hear Jean snicker, this time instead of little faces bobbing along with the lyrics at the bottom of the screen, it simply showed the person 'talking'. I see Armin slightly and remember when we watched that other damned video and he had cried, I reach over and stroke his arm, attempting reassurance.

_I can hear Armin scream, what the crap's going on?_

Jean perks up a bit at seeing himself and hearing 'his' voice, though he adds in himself, "I wasn't actually that concerned for the kid…"

_Bitch, you'd scream too._

I smirk a bit at that, 'I' told 'him'. Damn, this was confusing. I stiffen at the next line though. Dammit! I lose an arm one time and suddenly everyone throws it back at you! Though I can definitely hear Jean giggling from his spot.

_Wanna bet your other arm (Eren: Arrrrgh!)?_

_To kill you I just need one!_

I smirk again, happy to be on the winning end of the fight, even if it wasn't technically Jean and I, it felt good.

_Hey guys, come on. Please don't fight, no one's gonna die young._

_Not gonna die young._

_Our love won't die young._

_Hey, Marco's right. 'cause tonight no one's gonna die young._

I think we all stiffen at having those dead back again and talking about not dying young of all things. Whoever decided this song was a good idea really needed to figure shit out. Whoever decided to have us watch this is a fucking sociopath or something.

_Half baked, but still we'll be fine. We're not gonna die young._

"_I'm not gonna die." Half of that's a goddamn lie. Damn fools, out their minds. Guess they forgot that one time. I mean, it's not like it was episode one. (Ya know!) I wasn't there but heard it wasn't that fun. (Fo' sho!)_

I definitely did not talk like that! And having Jean joke around like that about what I knew happened in episode one pissed me off! But of course Horse-face seemed perfectly content as long as he was on screen.

_Half of me wants to say that you're right (Yeah!), but I know, you'll lead us through this fight._

_Oh holy crap! We screwed up our lives (Uh-huh!)! Fighting titans 'till we die!_

I roll my eyes at that. Daz was a melodramatic, cowardly piece of shit, fighting titans was the only way to live! We're barely surviving by doing nothing, at least by fighting, we're trying to get _life_ back!

_I'm Thomas Wagner, I'll-_

_He'll be the first one to die (Eh.)._

Jean looked appalled, actually standing up, hands clenched into fists and shaking. "Thomas was one of my closest friends." He looked about ready to destroy the computer when Levi grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him back down. "Shut up, brat."

_Hey, have you met my friend Jean? He's a funny guy._

I snort at that, Marco's nice and all, but Jean? Jean is a dick.

_Baby, you're safe in my arms._

_I know our love will survive._

_Not past episode five! Huh? Oh crap, they all died! How'm I still alive?_

I glance over at Jean again and ponder that. How _is_ he still alive?

_Huh. Hm. Guess I was wrong. In this arc, everybody dies young! Hope I survive._

_Marco died?! Tell me how. Please, someone!_

At that, Jean lost it, whipping towards Levi, Armin, and I. I notice Armin reaching out to pause the video. "What do you mean, 'Marco's dead'? Where is Marco? I haven't seen him since training. What happened to him?" He was in a rage and looked to Levi for orders or something, but he had on his usual apathetic expression. Armin reaches forward, stroking Horse-face's arm. "Jean. That is the one big difference between the Shingeki no Kyojin series and our lives. Marco's fine. He's still alive, I'm not sure where he is, probably sleeping. When I was speaking to him earlier, he was complaining of a headache." It was amazing how just some words from Armin calmed everyone down. Jean nods and sits back down, seemingly calm now as Armin plays the video again.

'_sup punks? Little dorks, welcome to the Survey Corps. Think you're safe, but you're not. Grab a cape and buckle up._

Levi wrinkles his nose at 'his' voice. "I would never get sick, I make sure of that." I guessed he was commenting on how the voice seemed congested.

_Aw man, I can't believe I joined with these dicks (You know.)._

Levi stiffens again as Jean snickers, already perfectly fine again. Horse-face is bi-polar.

_Oh god, I'm gonna die!_

_I'm gonna be sick (Fo' sho!)!_

I chuckle, that was definitely Sasha and Connie. But Levi… I snort a bit. Levi.

_Quit your bitchin'! We've gotta go (Yeah!)!_

Although I strongly disagree this would ever happen, it lightened my heart to know others thought it could.

_Marco's dead you asshole (What?!)!_

_I didn't know!_

"Doesn't seem like Jean knew it either…" I mutter under my breath so Kirschtien can't hear it, didn't want him charging me with all that horsepower. But despite how quiet I was, Armin gave me a chastising glance before looking back over to the screen.

_This is it! We're going outside (Uh-huh!)!_

_Fighting titans 'till we die!_

I sigh. Damn it Reiner.

_Check out that titan's ass (cat call)!_

_Reiner, wait!_

_Holy fuck!_

Damn it Reiner. All I could think while he was on screen.

_Hey, I'm okay. Bet you thought that I was done!_

Reiner is truly a dick.

_I'll fucking kill you, you cunt!_

Everyone whipped their heads around to Armin. I did the same, making sure to pause the video as we gaped at him in shock and wonder. "Wh-what is it guys?" He sounded kind of scared honestly.

"Armin… Why don't you swear?" Armin seemed taken aback by the question Levi prosed.

"A-ah… Why should I cuss? I believe it only shows ignorance and makes one seem like a fool." He glances to Levi sheepishly, placing a small kiss on his cheek. "But it suits you Levi…" He mumbles. Seemingly happy with this answer, everyone turns back to the video, but I'd be sure to question that later.

_Uh… Armin, hey bro (You're excused bitch!). you alright (Gibberish.)?_

_Because we gotta go!_

I don't think any of us knew how to respond except Armin who whispered, "Shota grab…"right before he ended up laughing so hard, he literally fell from his chair, grabbing at the sides of his stomach while tears began to streak down his cheeks. We paused the video but after a moment, his laughing became too much for me and I joined in, eventually Jean fell to the same fate, but Levi remained stoic, other than a small smile I doubt anyone else noticed. When we finally calmed down, we continued watching.

_Thought I heard Armin scream._

_No one cares._

_But Heichou (Shut up!)!_

Levi growled at himself in the video, muttering something about caring a lot as he pulled a blushing Armin into his lap and stroked the hair his face wasn't buried in.

_That titan chick's dropping squads to kingdom come._

_Hey, shouldn't I...?_

_Not a chance! We must advance. Let them go, or we're gonna die young._

_Hnnn… I never have any fun…_

I huff, that wasn't a fun fight and I wasn't planning on it to be either and I eagerly voice this opinion. "Shut up, Jaeger." Levi rolls his eyes, that seemed to be his favorite response to me.

_Too cute to die young!_

I can feel the temperature in the room drop a few degrees as Levi glares daggers into the screen, I can see Armin rubbing his arm soothingly and, though he remains tense, he doesn't break anything or kill anyone.

_My best friend's gone, but not I. I'm not gonna die young!_

_*Born Free begins playing as a titan frolics gracefully through a field*_

The room is plunged into silence as that ending song fades out and I'm not really sure how to respond. Armin was still trying to calm a silently seething Levi and Jean seemed to have a similar reaction as me. Horse-face stands after a few moments and walks out, saying something going to find Marco. After the surprise appearance of Petra, I figure Levi's in rough shape, so I excuse myself as well so Armin can hopefully calm him.

**So, that's it for now and I'm continuing on to the next chapter! So yeah, two chapters in one day for you guys, lucky bastards. It'll be out in a couple hours. And yes, Jean is becoming a regular. Look forward to more of him next chapter! This chapter was a whole lot of fun to write, but I wasn't really sure how to incorporate Jean into their weekly routine so he's simply an awkward extra in this chapter, but hopefully in the next he'll seem a bit less stiff and act more natural. ~**

**Oh yes, if you didn't catch the surprise, Marco's still alive! ~ And if you're still reading this, my long drawn out notes here at the bottom of the chapter, have more Oreos, or cookies you do like! ~**

**I'd also like to add, yes I may throw in some mildly offensive things about these songs and videos, but I genuinely love them and listen to each song at least once a day. And if you haven't looked this music up yet, you definitely should!**

**All right, I'm actually done now. I promise!**


	6. Jean Kirschtein: Gay or European?

**So here's your second chapter today. Don't expect more of this. I'm spoiling you guys right now. I fell in love with this song all together way too easily.**

**Alright so this video is entitled Jean Kirschtein: Gay or European? by July Y. Now, the song itself is _There! Right There!_ From _Legally Blonde_.**

After last week's addition of Jean, we decided to just keep him around, you know the comedic relief monkey, or I guess horse in his case. Opening the new email from the teenage trio, I see that we apparently made the right choice as the attached note asked for him to respond to this video as well. Sighing, I jump out of the fairly comfortable chair I was in and go off to find Jean. He was, of course, hanging out with Marco in Armin's and their room. "Horse face. Captain Levi needs you in his office." I try to sound purposeful, looking at him pointedly and hoping he gets it. He sighs, rolling his eyes and getting up, stretching as he walks past me and out the door.

Marco waves as I walk out of the room, his smile bright as I wave back before turning to catch up .with his best friend. "Alright brat, what is it?" He looks down at me, arms still stretched above his head.

"Another response. You were requested. And we gave you the fulltime pass, remember?" I explain as we make the trek back up the stairs to our meeting room. Sitting in my claimed seat, I ready the built in camera before clicking it on. "Alright, alright! Here we are, ready to react to yet another of your offensive yet terrifying videos. Jean's here too, not sure if you can tell 'cause half his face isn't showing. Damn horses, amirite? Anyways, he shall continue to be here when possible, which will be most of the time considering all he ever does is make goo-goo eyes at Marco." I roll my eyes and click on the video after my little introduction, I was the only one who bothered. Levi said it was pointless and Armin said they already could have figured it out because I was only saying obvious stuff, but what did they know?

As soon as the video starts, I can tell I'm going to hate it. The video literally has Jean's name in it.

_There, right there!__Look at that tan, well tinted skin__. __Look at the killer shape he's in__. __Look at that slightly stubbly chin__. __Oh please, he's gay! Totally gay!_

I snicker, I might have to take that back. Sasha yanking the man out of the closet. Definitely worth my time. I see his jaw twitch in annoyance, but that only makes my giggles harder to stifle.

_I'm not about to celebrate__, e__very trait could indicate__ t__he totally straight expatriate.__This guy's not gay, I say, not gay!_

"Aww, is someone's friend sticking up for him?" I imitate a childish voice, laughing a bit as the muscles of his jaw seem to tighten further.

_That is the elephant in the room__. __Well, is it relevant to assume__ t__hat a man who wears perfume__ i__s automatically medically fay?_

"Do you wear perfume Jean?" I ask, now actually curious as I look over at him, he pointedly ignores me and I roll my eyes at his immaturity, leaning closer subtly to see. No, no perfume but he did smell not like the stables so that was acceptable.

_But look at his coiffed and crispy locks__. __Look at his silk translucent socks__. __There's the eternal paradox__. L__ook, what we're seeing. What are we seeing?__Is he gay-? Of course, he's gay! -or European? Oh._

"I like how that wasn't even a question until Reiner brought it up. What did you do to get on his good side?" I am definitely enjoying this.

_Gay or European?__It's hard to guarantee.__Is he gay or European?__Well, hey, don't look at me!_

"How would Bertholt know Jean?" Was there something that happened I was unaware of? He scoffs and rolls his eyes, as if to suggest that was a ridiculous notion, and I admit. It kind of is.

_You see, they bring their boys up__ d__ifferent in those charming foreign ports.__They play peculiar sports,__ i__n shiny shirts and tiny shorts._

I snort, Jean would look absurd in something like that. Well, more absurd.

_Gay or foreign fella?__The answer could take weeks.__They both say things like, "Ciao, bella."__ w__hile they kiss you on both cheeks.__Oh please._

Marco just looked so exhausted at trying to figure it all out, and Hanji seemed to be on the same side as Sasha, ready for Jean to be dragged out of the closet.

_Gay or European?__So many shades of gray.__Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.__Is he gay or European or-? There, right there!_

"Hey, aren't you part French..? Then again, so is Levi, but at least he's open…" I mumble a bit, he settles for glaring. At me and the laptop.

_Look at that condescending smirk!__Seen it on every guy at work!__That is a metro-hetero jerk!__That guy's not gay, I say no way!_

"What, is Team Annie on Team Hetero?" I raise a brow at the blond beside me and, big surprise, he doesn't respond.

_That is the elephant in the room.__Well, is it relevant to presume that a hottie in that costume__ i__s automatically, radically, ironically, chronically__, __certainly, flirtingly, genetically, medically gay?__Officially gay, swishily gay, gay, gay, gay…_

"That was a lot of words…" I'm a bit drained just listening to them all.

_Dammit! Gay or European?__So stylish and relaxed.__Is he gay or European?__I think his chest is waxed._

I'd question him on this again, but I'd most likely only end up getting punched. Hah! Take that Mikasa! I do learn! It just takes a while is all…

_But they bring their boys up different__, t__here it's culturally diverse.__It's not a fashion curse__ i__f he wears a kilt or bears a purse._

"UGH! Unnecessary close-up!" The bastard smirks, freaking smirks, as I cry out in agony. I definitely did _not_ need a close-up there. Thanks a lot…

_Gay or just exotic?__I still can't crack the code.__Yet, his accent is hypnotic__ b__ut his shoes are pointy toed. Huh._

"Hypnotic accent, huh? Yeah, definitely swoon worthy. That is the accent of stupid."

_Gay or European?__So many shades of gray.__But if he turns out straight,__I'm free at eight on Saturday._

"Yeah, like Mikasa would ever actually agree to that! She likes Marco too much to break his heart." I snicker as another glare is thrown at me.

_Is he gay or European?__Gay or European?__Gay or Euro-?_

_Wait a minute!__Give me a chance to crack this guy.__I have an idea I'd like to try.__The floor is yours._

"Of course they have Armin solve everything. Then again… I guess that _is_ kind of how it is…"

_So, Mr. Argitacos,__ t__his alleged affair with Ms. Windam__ h__as been going on for..? Two years.__And your first name again is..? Nicos.__And your boyfriend's name is..? Carlos. *collective gasp*__I'm sorry, I misunderstand!__You say boyfriend,__I thought you say best friend! Carlos is my best friend._

I bust out laughing. "Yah, she was right! That accent sure is something!" I didn't really take notice of the images chosen of 'me' for that scene.

_You bastard! You lying bastard!__That's it! I no cover for you, no more!__Peoples! I have a big announcement!__This man is gay and European!_

I shut up, realizing it's 'me' talking. A sense of dread fills me and I suddenly don't want to finish this. I do not want to know how this song ends.

_Whoa! And neither is his place.__You've got to stop you're being a completely closet case!__It's me, not her he's seein',__ n__o matter what he say!_

"Woah you guys! Too far! Sleeping with him would be bestial, I'm not about that!" And why in the hell did _I_ have to be Carlos? Why not Marco?

_I swear, he never ever, ever swing the other way__! __You are so gay, you big parfait!__You flaming boy in cabaret!__I'm straight.__You were not yesterday._

Honestly, I'm proud of myself for those insults, even if it wasn't technically me. And that clip used straight after that last comment was great. I make a mental note to remember those as I laugh at Jean's reaction to being called a parfait.

_So if I may, I'm proud to say__ h__e's gay! And European!__He's gay! And European!__He's gay! And European and gay!_

_Fine, okay! I'm gay.__  
__Hooray!_

"Can I just say, those clips at the end there were perfect. At the beginning it was a bit rusty, but at the end? Fabulous." I try to force out that last word as gaily as I can while attempting a hair flip, and I think comes out a bit too well. I hear a snort and glare over at Jean. "Don't you laugh at me _Nikos_. See if I ever try to cover for you again." I huff out, trying my best Carlos impression. Turning back to the camera, I speak in my regular voice as I rate it overall. "I think all together, this has been my favorite video to watch. It was great. Thank you for actually sending this along to us!" I hear a mumble from Jean, but I don't quite catch it as I turn off the camera and send out the response video to our correspondents.

**Well, so yes… I'm sorry, I meant to get this out earlier, I really did, but then I was dragged along to family dinner and yah… So, this is it. It might be kinda short, but it's the second chapter in one day. Give me a break. The next chapter of this series will actually probably be in the form of **_**What Is This Thing?**_** And then a new chapter on this, I have some ideas, but give me some more as well!**


	7. Wait Eren

**This is definitely going to be short. That's all the warning I'm giving you.**

Levi and I sat side by side at the oak desk in his insanely clean office as he pulls open the small laptop and clicks into the new email. Internally I groan when I see the link. Another video. That doesn't seem to faze the captain much as he opens the link in a new tab. As soon as I see the title, a small shiver of fear crept down my back. There stood the characters that were supposedly me and Levi, speaking in some language I didn't understand. No other explanation, my brows furrow together as I look on in confusion. The 'Levi' walks away, an 'Erwin' taking his place. Then suddenly, it switches from the strange dialect to some sort of song.

_Hey how ya doin' little mama, let me whisper in your ear. Tell you something you might like to hear._

My mouth drops open in disbelief, dread filling me as a sense of foreboding ebbing away the fluffiness of the room. I can see Levi smirking, laughing internally at my apparent horror.

_Gotta sexy ass body and your ass looks soft. Just wait'll you see my dick._

"Oh god! I'm done with all of this!" My face is burning with embarrassment, anger, and something I can't quite place. I can faintly hear a small shriek-like noise erupting from the computer. I watch as Levi gives in and begins bursting with laughter, I stalk past him, going straight for the door. I would be both shocked and terrified that Levi was actually appearing human, actually _laughing_ at something, but I was too far lost in my bruised and battered pride. Yanking open the door, I smash right into the chest of the man that caused all the shame I was currently experiencing, even if he didn't know it because he didn't actually _do_ anything. I feel my face burn brighter and hear Levi pause in his amusement, probably to look up, only to go into deeper hysterics.

"What happened?" Erwin's voice is smooth and I'm reminded of how close I am to him at the way it sounds as though he was speaking directly into my ear. I clench my jaw and gesture towards the computer, just wanting to go back to my solitary room of confinement and be done with the humiliation for tonight. Though I probably would be unable to look directly at Erwin ever again. Levi coughs, wiping at his left cheek to capture a tear that had escaped him during his fit, before calming into chuckles and snickers. He walks over to the laptop, crooking his finger in a 'come hither' way, Erwin places a hand on my upper arm and brings me back to the desk. I turn my head away from the screen, making sure to keep the blond out of my line of sight as well, I hear the click of Levi pressing the circled arrow, replaying the video. Erwin's hand had moved up to my shoulder, pressing me down into the chair I had somehow ended up in, and he was currently leaning over me, to get a better view of the screen.

I couldn't see either of their reactions, but I could hear Levi's failed attempts at stifling his newfound laughter. I hear the part when 'Erwin' comes into the picture and I lower my head, my face probably as red as a tomato.

_Gotta sexy ass body and your ass looks soft._

Erwin's grip on my shoulder tightens so his fingers are digging into my flesh and I can hear him choking on air, spluttering as he tries to force out words.

_Just wait'll you see my dick._

His struggle for air becomes somehow worse, his grasp on me falling away as he coughs a bit, though he wasn't choked on his own laughter like Levi was again. After a few moments, Erwin seems to regain his composure and he tugs me out of the room, Levi somehow manages a strangled sounding, "You won't have to wait to see his dick much longer!" before falling to the ground again. I choose to ignore his comment as the office door is shut behind us and the sound of Levi guffawing is lost to us. I peer up at Erwin who has red ears and a look between embarrassment and being miffed on his face, he shuffles his feet around a bit before meeting my eyes with his.

"Eren… I-" I wave him off before he can finish.

"It's okay Commander Erwin. I know." I move to go to my room to get rid of the overwhelmingly awkward atmosphere, but he stops me.

"No, Eren. First of all, I'd like to apologize." I got to protest, but he holds up a hand to silence me, I comply with a huff. "And I'd also like to take this opportunity to say that though tonight might have been embarrassing for you, Levi… He hasn't _ever_ laughed like that, not since I've known him. It's good to see him finally relaxing a bit, letting go of the past a little, right?" The commander gets a bit of a fond smile on his face before patting my shoulder. "Now Eren, run along. You look dead on your feet." I nod, remaining silent as I dash to room. Glad to bury my overheated face in the cool bedding.

**That's a wrap for now! So, yes it is shorter than some of my other chapters, but I warned you. More of these chapters are going to get into crack videos and short 30-ish second AMVs rather than full length parodies.**

**The video this is based on is **_**Wait Eren**_** posted to YouTube curtesy of **_**Go Away**_**.**


	8. Splash

**Alright, so this was going to contain reactions from two videos, but I cut it off to just one. It is a Free! X SNK mash-up posted by Ela Leung, the song used is Splash by Style Five. The title of the video's in Japanese, but here it is:【進擊の巨人】Free! EDパロ【手描き】!**

I head to Levi's office, knowing the others will already be there, we had been doing this whole routine long enough that I no longer felt the need to knock, so I just walk right in and, sure enough, Levi, Armin, and Jean and sitting around the computer waiting for me. I say nothing, just throw myself into my designated seat and wait as the video loads. It doesn't take long, and when it does the screen is white with red lettering spelling out 'Attention', the music begins but that's all that's on the screen for a few moments before it flashes to another image, still white with red font, but the words are no longer anything I understand, though there is a small sketch of Levi. It stays there a bit longer than the opening image before flashing to yet another white slide with red lettering, this time reading 'OK?', then another exclaiming, 'GO!'. And that was when my knowledge of what was happening flew out my brain.

_Make us free na Splash! Kasaneta hikari no KONTORASUTO abite__,__feel so free na kyou tobikomu ore-tachi no Brand new blue, yea__. __Omou you ni, sei! Sei! Sei! A-oh!_

'Armin' practically flew onto the screen doing a ridiculous, but adorable, little dance, in time the music currently pouring from the laptop's speakers. I glance over at the blond and he seems enraptured.

_Jibunrashiku, kick! Kick! Kick! A-oh!_

He raises his arm and in his place is suddenly 'Jean', doing his own bizarre dance, different than 'Armin's', but still fitting the pop music accompanying it in the video. Jean raises a brow, probably more towards his appearances in the video than anything.

_Tsukamitainda, pull! Pull! Pull! A-oh!_

Again, the arm lift, 'Jean' is gone and there 'I' am. 'My' dance is by far the least absurd, and 'I' look damn good doing it, grinning I nod my head along to the song. It's pretty damn catchy.

_Todokisou na, deep! Deep! Deep! Splash Free!_

And then finally, there's 'Levi', taking my place and doing a not-quite dance thing. I have to question why he's in such a happy sounding place, why he's dancing with us. But I hear a chuckle from Jean and I'm quick to add in my own snickers. Armin rolls his eyes and grabs onto the older man's arm like only a lover would do and snuggles into his arm.

I wasn't exactly sure _how_ to respond to that. Armin was the first to speak, his voice sounding cheerful, "That was cute! I really liked that song, it was all!" He waves his hands around, trying to describe the music, and I honestly just don't know. It seemed like he was trying to imitate the dance thing I was doing, but it failed pretty miserably. Only I could pull that off. Standing, Armin begins to recreate the whole dance but before he could get very far, Levi grabbed his hands and pulled the younger boy down into his lap.

I latch myself onto Jean's arm and yank him out of the room. I had been around those two enough when a situation like this arose. It never ended well for me. Surprisingly the half German man follows without much complaint.

"Hey, Eren?" I turn my head to look at him, trailing awkwardly behind me.

"Yeah?" It was strange to hear him speaking to me without the intention to start a fight, even stranger to see him looking like a kicked puppy.

"Why did Armin choose Levi?" When he looked up at me, he appeared so broken, I was unsure of how to respond and I didn't really want to be the one he was speaking to.

**Alright, this is really short, I know, but it was getting **_**waaay**_** off topic. So, when I come out with the third installation of this ongoing series, the one that depicts Eren's relationship, I will include this conversation. In fact, I'm going to be putting in each character's after-response story in their spin-off. After I get around to Eren's, I'll also put up a Jean, so you got two more coming at you! Now, since there's so much rambling, I'm going to stop talking (typing?) now.**


	9. Judas

**Alright so this is my first update in way too long. I'm alive my lovelies! This chapter was a request from a guest asking for this. I really wish you guys would log in so I could thank you properly… But that's alright! Thank you for the idea and here it is (finally)!**

**Quick note: The **_**italics**_**, like before, signal what's happening in the video.**

As I walk into Captain Levi's office, I notice two things. As usual, I'm the last to arrive. There are three people here who usually are not. Commander Erwin and Squad Leader Hanji weren't necessarily a surprise, as the Commander had already been privy to another reaction video and Hanji knew of this technology. The inclusion, however; of my sister Mikasa was a surprising one. And I stood a bit in shock for a moment before taking in another step to properly close the door. I glance toward Erwin and notice that he seems a bit apprehensive which wasn't altogether that out of the blue as I realize the last time he and I were gathered around the computer in this room it was completely embarrassing.

I choose to seat myself between Jean and Mikasa who was beside Armin and the Captain. She reaches out to place a hand on my shoulder in what was supposed to be reassuring, but it had only made me tense up more. I wasn't prepared for this. I was one hundred percent certain this was going to go poorly. Everyone remains eerily silent as Captain Levi clicks on a link that catapults us into YouTube. My hands tighten into fists as music begins to play, the black on the screen opening up to a moving image of Levi laying on a white surface, red petals falling as the animated copy moves his mouths to the words. I can see Mikasa's eyes go wide as she glances to Levi, clearly not having expected this. _This cut away to an animated version of Erwin, standing beside a gate at night, looking down and slowly straightening while his eyes open and the music continues. This cuts to two more scenes, in different settings of the Commander and Captain, before going on to include Marco, sitting with his arms propped on his knees, in front of a fence, one eye red and the other covered with an eyepatch as searchlights are moved over him. And then Jean in front of yet another fence, wearing a gas mask. Armin, a huge red scythe held in one hand as his back is turned from the camera. And then Mikasa, some sort of goggles over her eyes as it zooms into her face before cutting to a dancing Levi, a close up of me, and then Armin, Mikasa, and I dancing. The visuals interested me, but up until that moment there were minimal words, just repeating before changing with the visuals as it shifts to the red checkered room with us three dancing, our eyes red._

I furrow my brow and look over the room, no one else seems like they know how to respond either as it continues. The voice was getting to me. I wanted to turn it off, but the video itself interested me.

_The dance scene cut off, moving to show Marco, in his scout uniform, sitting with his knees to his chest and hands over his ears, his eyes their normal brown with no eyepatch as the other him we had seen previously, in all black with an eyepatch and red eyes, stood behind him, hands on his shoulders as he leaned in to sing into his ear. This breaks into a dancing Marco sequence before shifting a similar setup, but with Jean. A mask covering the lower half of the Jean in his uniform as the Jean in black moves his hands to cover the other's eyes. This moves into a solo dance with Jean before jumping into a group dance including Levi, Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Marco, Erwin, and myself._

I can hear a quiet mumble from someone complaining about the music, but so far everyone was fairly quiet, it was concerning.

_The camera cuts to circling the red eyed, black clad Armin who was gripping the hilt of a ridiculously large and ornate looking sword before shifting again to the blond getting his own solo dance. There's a moment where the red eyed Armin is holding a large book in front of a stained glass window before moving to the red eyed Mikasa. She seems to be in the middle of taking of the screen-like goggles as the camera circles her before cutting to her dancing on her own. Then there's a short moment where I'm on screen, in front of a stained glass window, it's a profile shot but my eyes are toward the camera. A dark green, though it looks like I am in black. This makes way to show Connie, doing the same solo dance as the rest but in what looks like a prison._

"There's a lot happening..." I mumble, quietly toward Mikasa. I see her nod silently, her eyes locked on the screen in what looked like a morbid fascination.

_Then Ymir was on screen in the same place, taking Connie's place. A close up on Annie before jumping locations and zooming in on Sasha but then Connie was in her place. Another jump and we're watching Bertolt._ There was seriously a lot happening, I could barely take it all in. _Bertolt standing still before the same stained glass. Circling around a red-eyed Mina. A change in location and the raven haired girl was dancing. A quick shot of Annie in front of the stained glass. Annie, Connie, Sasha, Mina, Ymir, Bertolt dancing in a group. A close up of Ymir. Back to the group._ My brain couldn't keep up. _Sasha and Connie sitting back to back, the camera circling them. A shot of them dancing, still turned away from each other. Side by side in front of the stained glass window. Then Ymir standing, her arms spread slightly, gripping the gate behind her as Bertolt is crouched beside her, one arm resting on a knee. They're looking down, sadly. Dancing back to back. A long black hallway, red lights running the length of it as we pan up slowly on a person walking through it only for it to break off to see Reiko. Another angle on the person walking the tunnel. Back to Reiko. A flash of Hitch. Red eyed Levi, in a throne in front of the stained glass, leaning forward a bit with his forearms resting on the chair. Erwin holding a sword. Hitch and Reiko sitting on the edges of a bath tub. Back to the tunnel. We pan up to finally see the person walking to find Hanji. A flash to Reiko. Ian flashes on screen. Then Petra, but with blue eyes._

I glance over to see Levi's reaction, his jaw was tight, one of his fists balled up, but I could also see Armin stroking a hand up and down his thigh, starting at his knee moving halfway up before stroking back down. He was moving slowly, soothingly. I figured Armin had it under control so I glanced back to the screen. Sick of watching these videos that liked to reanimate the dead.

_Olou was on screen. Then Levi, standing in front of a white background alone, saluting. Petra and Olou appear behind him, like standing in a circle facing away from each other. Petra disappears, Levi looks back to where she was. Olou is no longer there and Levi's head turns to the now empty space before turning back to the camera and closing his eyes. We change scenes and the captain is in front of a cross, one hand over his eyes, the other raised. A flash of the back of a Survey Corps member's back, saluting, too close to know who it is. Everyone we've seen so far is now on screen, in what looks like a church. A third have one black wing and one white wing, one third have only the black feathered appendage. The remaining have no wings at all. Ian standing back to back with Reiko. Jean and Marco, looking at each other, a fence between them. Both holding onto it. Me kneeling, Armin and Mikasa holding onto me. Levi sitting in one of the pews of the church, appearing to be near the front. Erwin sitting in the last row, all the way in the back, hands clasped together as he leans forward a bit. Back to the large winged group dance. The music finally ends._

"Well. That felt like forever." I say, stretching a bit as I exit out of the video, closing itas the music starts up again, a bit softer, as the credits play. I was glad the video was over and judging by the expressions of the rest, they were too. Armin is still gently stroking Levi's thigh, Mikasa's gaze had honed in on that too and she was just about glaring daggers at the Captain. She really didn't like him and I guess she hadn't heard about Armin's romance. "We should all get some rest, it's late." I stand, stretching myself out a bit better. My muscles were still a bit sore from training and I could feel my back popping a bit just from standing. That probably wasn't good.

Erwin nods, standing himself. "Everyone, get some rest. We're planning on going out and we need to go over the details. You all need to be at your best." As the Commander begins to talk on scouting, we all stand, with the exception of Levi, and salute the man as he ushers us out.

**Well, that felt like it took much longer than it did because I kept getting sidetracked because, honestly, I don't particularly care for that song much. This might make absolutely no sense as to what's going on, and I'm really sorry. There's a lot of jumping around in perspectives in the video so I tried to simplify it. It kind of helped though. I was able to be kind of short and choppy and I think it helped maybe..? You tell me.**

**The video this is describing is an Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin dance music video made to the song Judas by Lady Gaga. The official name of the video is ****【進撃の****MMD****】皆さんで****JUDAS****【****Attack on Titan ALLSTARS****】****by muu mu (on YouTube, as previously stated). The visuals are actually quite nice and the video itself I found to be quite intriguing. I just don't particularly like the song. And it was difficult to explain in this chapter because there was so much shifting around and there were some moments where it took me a second to identify a character (heh hem Reiko and Ian) because they were pretty brief in the anime and I couldn't remember their names, though I recognised them. If I did get these names wrong (or any of them for that matter) let me know and I'll fix it.**

**Dang. This turned into a huge chunk of text so Imma stop babbling now.**

**Thank you so much for reading, and I'm sorry it took me so long!**


	10. A Slap on Titan

Alright, so here's another chapter that was requested. This, I'm not gonna lie, was hell. I watch through each of these videos at least twice and then go through, pausing moment by moment to get down the script. And then, as I'm typing the chapter I add in the audio and then watch through it again for the visuals. So this chapter took more than an hour, just for the media portion. That isn't including the original content, so…. Yah. This is gonna be a long chapter. And so is the next one. Being based on a 20 minute video… I hope you enjoy!

This was requested by Silver Tarot, so thank you so much for giving me more crack to look through!

This is based on Tomandre's series, A Slap on Titan.

Because this is a multi-episode series, I'm just going to be doing episode one.

After I finish eating, I walk to Levi's office as was becoming usual. The Commander had let us know earlier that this week would only be Mikasa, Armin, himself, and I. It was going to be quiet. I could tell. The last couple week's sessions had been. I take my usual seat beside Armin, Mikasa hadn't arrived yet. Probably waiting until the last possible moment to join without being admonished by Levi. She was still wary of the captain after his public display of violence toward me, and her anger had only begun to spike again once she had learned about his and Armin's relationship. Once Mikasa is there, the email is opened and the link is clicked to redirect us to the media. As YouTube loads the video I gently scratch at my cheek as we sit in the silence, it was kind of suffocating, even if it was for just a moment.

The video opens up to a very familiar scene and I recognise it near instantly from when I had watched the Shingeki no Kyojin series. The noise wasn't the same and it didn't start up the same, but there was no denying this was the same video. That is until it zoomed into the Colossal Titan and he 'spoke'.

What's good niggas? This looks like a sandbox.

What? This was apparently not the same video. I look over at Armin as the familiar opening theme song begins to play, my eyebrows furrowed a bit in confusion.

Hey failure!

The words spoken from the screen get my attention back on track as I watch the scene play out between 'Mikasa' and 'I', laughing a bit. Up until the mention of oral fixation. This definitely seemed like a conversation that could take place between us. I roll my eyes at the Wallist's ranting, that was definitely something that happened, though not in those exact words. And this was when the experience went to shit. Hannes appeared on screen, and while I had begun to expect him at some point, this did seem to be modeled after the official anime, I hadn't expected him to say the words he did.

Heh. Excuse me. At least my mother's history isn't a family secret.

I could feel my stomach roll, I didn't like where this was going. Where 'Hannes' was bringing this.

'Me': What?

'Hannes':Your momma's past. Ha, cause- Wait. You don't know.

'Hugo': HE doesn't know? Oh snap. Knowledge is about to get dropped. Also clearly drunk

'Me': Hannes, what the hell are you talking about?

'Hannes': Eren. Your mother was a massive whore back in the day.

I was out of my seat before I could even think, rage clear on my face. I don't know what I was gonna do. There wasn't anyone I could actually hit, Hannes and Hugo both had their faults, but I wasn't blaming them. There was nothing I could do. Before I could even attempt anything Mikasa had grabbed onto my elbow and pulled me back down, her own face twisted a bit in anger. That surprised me, she was usually as emotionless as the older Ackerman. I take the seat again, huffing out an angry breath and gritting my teeth as the conversation between 'Hannes' and 'me' continues. I ignore it until Hannes is once more off screen, deciding to save my energy for yelling about something else instead.

'Me': Hey, look! The Recon Corps is back! Come on Mikasa, let's cheer on the real heroes of humanity!

Random Citizens: 'Oh look who it is. Bitch patrol.' 'Bow-wow, you people look messed up!' 'Look at these pussies!' 'They look like gay Robin Hood!'

'Me': Hey, there he is, Erwin! My friggin' hero!

'Erwin Smith': Ugh, children.

RC: 'Way to get fucking dismembered, asshole!' 'We're ignorant civilians and therefore extremely unsympathetic to your suffering.' 'Hey look, it's the Ren and Stumpy show!' 'Bye horses!' 'Man, those rangers are cowards.'

I tighten my hands into fists, a quiet growl in the back of my throat as I level a glare at the screen placed on Levi's desk in front of me. I was angry at those fuckers all over again. I knew what day this was supposed to be though. The first appearance of the Colossal Titan. I remember whacking around at least one of them. And there it is. I smirk a bit as the stuck comes down on the man's body. I can hear Mikasa let out a little breath of annoyance. She was probably already frustrated about this whole thing. So was I. I hated all of this. I was just about done with our correspondence group.

'Me': Jeez, holy fuck Mikasa, I think you just permanently altered my spine. You should become, like, a chiropractor for hunchbacks. You could probably reset a titan's vertebrae alone. You could probably commit seppuku with an acupuncture needle. I really don't know how to handle this. I've been crippled by your mutant strength and my personal issues with having a fake sister adding me to the disability registry.

'Mikasa': And I'm crippled by the fact that you still won't accept me as your sister. And lover.

I laugh a bit at this exchange before wrinkling my nose at the last words. I can see Mikasa respond in a similar way from the corner in my eye and bite back a laugh. We thought the same thing about that at least.

'Me': What'd you say?

'Mikasa': Nothing. I am the night!

'Me': Oh god, don't start that shit again. You're enough of a hipster without the scarf.

'Mikasa': It warms the darkness of my soul.

This brings me back to laughter, snorting as the scene fades off.

'Mikasa': Eren wants to join the Recon Corps.

'Me': What the fuck Mikasa?!

'Mom': Eren! Is this true?!

'Me': What- Yes.

'Mom': You told me those days were over! That's it, Eren! Bedtime forever!

Well that went over much better than it really happened. So I guess there's that. But it was really messing with my mind, seeing my 'mom' still lively as always, yelling and smiling and just… Living.

'Dad': Well Eren, how about us boys talk this out?

'Me': Oh. Hi there Dad, you were so quiet I didn't notice you.

D: That's because I'm a genie! Um no.

I blink, not at all sure what just happened on the screen. What the hell was that supposed to mean? And what was up with his voice anyway? All the voice in this are actually pretty atrocious so. Except maybe Mikasa's. It was pretty spot on.

'Dad': Look, Eren. I am not mad at you for wanting to join the Recon Corps. Trust me. I do understand. And if you ever have any questions about any secrets you feel we may have kept from you.. Here's the key to the basement.

'Me': The Forbidden Dungeon?!

Yes. I'm done. If the next video they have us watch is as shirty as this one I will refuse to further cooperate. I understand that in their anime, Shingeki no Kyojin I am the protagonist, but still. Why is there so much offensive content based around me? What about any other person? I get it's supposed to be humorous, but that can only excuse so much. As far as they know, we're not real so that cuts them a bit more slack, but still.

"How much longer?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper and just loud enough for Levi to hear. He reaches forward and wiggles the cursor around on the video and I see that it's only a little more than half through. I sigh and put my chin in my hand, giving up on fighting the video.

Random Bully: Ha! Stupid nerd! Reading books and shit!

Armin: I hope you enjoy this! You're the stronger one now. But one day, I'm gonna grow up, and I'm gonna teach myself how to make chloroform and knock you all out. Then, I'll drag you down into my basement and chain you to the foundations. The first thing you'll see upon waking is me standing before you as your new god. And then I'll make you worship me in ways no one has before.

My eyes widen and I glance over at Armin who looked angry, looked like he was going to be the one destroying the technology if Levi hadn't placed a hand on his thigh, holding him in place, he still looked angry, but I couldn't help laughing a bit. Armin might be a gentle person, but if he gets angry, you don't want to be on the receiving end. He would destroy you intellectually and this was the deranged side of that. Armin whips around to look at me, and I hold my hands up in protest.

'Armin': Well, I started off writing dark poetry, and then worked my way up to hand-sewing perfect doll replicas of my tormentors, then placing each doll in a pentagramic circle and stabbing out their eyes before extinguishing their souls in a ritualized fire ceremony.

'Me': Wow Armin. That's kinda fucked up.

Armin seems really angry with this representation of him, but I love it. This. This is great. If the damn video had started with this, I might not hate it so much. It seemed like I was the only one who did like it, Mikasa was looking at the screen in disgust, Armin was glaring at me, and Levi was just staring like I had shifted into a titan and kicked around in any space he had just cleaned. I just laugh a bit harder, clutching at my stomach as I double over for a moment before calming down again at the seriousness of what was on screen. And we were back at the beginning, the Colossal Titan bringing down the gate. 'Armin was back on screen and I grinned, keeping back my laughter this time.

'Armin': No… No! Steady your hand, Armin. You can't let them see it shake when you take your revenge.

'Me': Mom! Mom! Quick Mom, where does it hurt?

'Mom: My… everywhere.

'Mikasa': Help me lift this!

'Mom': How many titans are there?

'Me': There's only… a million of them.

I grimace, knowing exactly where this was going, but before I could form fists with my hands or grit my teeth together the sound cuts off. I look up again and see Levi sitting back, the laptop closed as he takes Armin's hand in his.

"Go on and get some rest. It's been a long day for us all." His voice is quiet and I stand, leaving the room grateful to the captain as I brush of Mikasa, ignoring her concern as I go to my room. She had followed, but I close the door to her face. I love Mikasa, but sometimes I just needed to be alone, and right now was one of those times. I sit on the bed, crossing my legs under me and bury my face in my hands as I'm forced to relive those memories. I can feel the tears falling from my eye and leaking through my fingers but I can't bring myself to care.

I'm sorry if any of the configuration in this chapter is weird, or if there were any typos. I wrote this over two different devices. I'm so sorry this took so long to get to you, I got hella sick and was asleep all yesterday and was forced into social interactions the last week. (Probably didn't help that I set aside one day to rewatch the series because of the trailer that dropped.) Have you seen it? How excited are you? So because of that, I was subjected to all the feels all over again, because I watched the main series and the OVAs, I cried so hard, it was ridiculous. I forgot how feelsy the canon is thanks to all the happy fanart, fansongs, and fanfiction.

Thank you all so much for reading this and thanks again to Silver Tarot for this recommendation! It was a long journey, but here it is. Possibly the longest chapter I've put out. And I didn't even cover the whole episode!


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